Ada Limon’s book Bright Dead Things is a book mainly about change. In section two, the biggest change seems to be grief, specifically the grief associated with her deceased stepmother, that Limon laments about. Limon speaks about this grief and experience in her poem “After You Toss Around The Ashes.” One mention of this aspect is the line “When she was dying, it was impossible to see forward to the next minute.” This line shows the deep impact the death of a parent hits you with. Limon continues this idea of intense grief with the spreading of the ashes of her stepmother. “What should we do with her ashes? Water or dirt. Water or dirt. Once, she asked to just be thrown into the river where we used to go, still alive, but not living anymore.” These lines show the contemplation of the speaker, showing how upset they are over the deceased. They are showing this love for the deceased but are so heartbroken they don’t want to ruin their final wishes. In doing so, they are reminiscent of the times they were alive. Especially with the “used to go” this shows the reminders of the past with this specific person. Limon even continues to show the grief after arrangements, specifically with the line “After it was done, I couldn’t go back to life.” This shows that after the funeral arrangements, the grief was still deep inside. It means that even though everything was over, and this person was at rest, the speaker still couldn’t just get over this hump. The poem even continues with “It wasn’t the same. I couldn’t tell if I loved myself more or less.” This line shows the inner turmoil that continues after grief, and this empty space in your heart after the deceased is truly gone. Limon ends the poem, after all the grief, to show that even through all of this, they are still human, and “I am beautiful. I am full of love. I am dying.” This shows that even through it all, the speaker is still present in the mortal realm, and life isn’t over yet.

This poem has a strong impact, showing the intensity of grief. This poem, and the most of section 2, is about the death of Limon’s stepmother, who passed of colon cancer. Limon’s stepmother died rather young, at the age of 51. She mentions this grief as the main reason she wrote her book Bright Dead Things. It was the catalyst for her to write said book, as well as her moving, which I mentioned in Blog 1. Limon said that if she was going to die in twenty years, she would want to write full-time (Zelazko). Limon even mentioned on social media that the death of her stepmother was the reason for her book. Grief pushed Limon towards writing, and towards her husband.

When it comes to grief, it can be hard. Now, I’ve never lost a parent or gone through anything Limon has. However, this poem makes me think of my mother, and the grief she went through with her father. He passed away a few years ago, and the grief she went through was insurmountable. I remember when she facetimed him just before he passed, she was so distraught to see her father in such a state. He could barely recognize his own daughter and couldn’t even recognize his wife. When he passed, my mother was distraught. She couldn’t think of anything and could only focus on the upcoming funeral. After the funeral, she still was in this almost depressive state, and would cry at any mention of her father, or his favorite shows. When his ashes were spread (which she wasn’t there for, but that’s a story for another time) she felt like she never got to truly say goodbye to him. She felt, and still feels, that the grief is never over. Grief sucker punches you and makes your life feel full of holes. But, eventually, you coexist with grief and learn to love life even with the holes in your life. Life goes on.

Word Count: 684

Bibliography

“A guide to scattering ashes.” n.d. Funeral Partners. Article. <https://www.funeralpartners.co.uk/help-advice/arranging-a-funeral/a-guide-to-scattering-ashes/&gt;.

DepostiNovic. “Solitude at the dark sea.” n.d. depositphotos. <https://depositphotos.com/photos/grief-silhouette.html?qview=3232862&gt;.

Limon, Ada. 28 September 2023. Social Media Post. <https://www.instagram.com/p/CxvKuccOF5c/&gt;.

Limon, Ada. “After You Toss Around The Ashes.” Bright Dead Things. Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions, 2015. 39. Book.

Zelazko, Alicja. “Ada Limón.” n.d. Britannica. <https://www.britannica.com/biography/Ada-Limon#ref1305064&gt;.